Sometimes I like to think that i've matured.
i thought i saw everything that is needed to be seen,
tasted the bread and butter of life.
but often those perception eluded me from the truth that lies within.
as ridiculous as it sounds,
sometimes I like being sad.
but I'll put on my fake happy face anyway,
and just embrace life with this mask that doesn't suit me.
in fact, it's protruding me, slowly killing me inside.
and the saddest part is,
I cant get it off because....
even i don't know the answer.
why can't everybody just leave me alone?
can't they just shut their mouth and stop trying to change me;
and just accept me for who I am?
i just can't stand it anymore..
they can find fault in me in almost every single way.
i guess they have the rights because they're perfect, right?
everyday i walk this path of insecurity of mine,
trying to find something illusive; something special,
something that can give me a reason to keep moving on.
it's simply hard to find because...
the reasons that i'm looking for doesn't seem to be sticking out its head.
i need to find its hiding place somehow,
in these torrid times.
you know what?
i don't need a shoulder to cry on.
it's a lie if i said i can do it alone.
but I'll try.
now even my smiling mask is gone.
oh somebody can you tell me where did it go?
never mind. I'll find it myself.
Labels: betul ni